A Series of Unfortunate Events...

So our travels took an unexpected turn and I am slowly coming to terms with what happened. Helen and I were mugged and assaulted at knife point. We were walking back to the hostel after dinner, about half 10 at night. We hadn't been drinking, we had been reassured that the island was safe. My reaction? I'm so tired. I can socialise in small bursts and then I need time alone. I find myself getting more frustrated easily when I'm with people walking slowly. I feel like I am chasing daylight because the night has become scary and sinister. I stand straighter, my eyes sharper, darting around to catch anything suspicious. It's changed me, it's made me more observant, and made me more determined not to let someone stop me. But I am exhausted by the process.

First there was the initial trauma, writing down what happened and the outpouring of emotion. Then the slow process of getting together with the police, tracking down the culprit, showing the police the crime scene, cancelling cards, contacting loved ones and dealing with people offering their kind words and support. The next day was an early start, going to Big Corn Island on the early boat to make an official police report and identify the man in question. He will be sent to Bluefields for the trial. In the past week Little Corn felt strange and confusing. The longer i stayed on the island, the more scared i became about traveling on the mainland. When people say dangerous things happen everywhere in the world what they fail to mention is that in this country, your white skin sticks out like a sore thumb, you are immediately a target. You are from the west and you have a lifestyle that they envy with ease of travel and material things.

I felt I had to continue my journey before fear prevented me from traveling now or in the future. I am on the plane back to the mainland, a slightly sturdier one than the toy craft that brought us here. It has been a difficult, turbulent and emotional week. Helen and I both had different experiences of the attack, and we have both reacted differently. Helen is going to the states a week early where she can feel safe and I am continuing my travels solo slightly earlier than planned. Why I am not coming home just yet to me, is simple to explain. I want to continue. I believe I will be stronger person for carrying on, I have put too much into the trip for me to cut it short. I could feel anxiety and fear of travel building in me the longer I stayed on Corn Island. I already feel better for leaving; feeling once again that anything is possible.

Now feels like the time to start proper traveling of loud Spanish, busy buses, lugging heavy backpacks and finding new things that surprise you each day. I am listening when everyone tells me to stay safe. Helen and I did not put ourselves in obvious danger, we were not being stupid, we were very very unlucky. Helen has been a fantastic travel partner. She is funny, laid back and I will miss our duo. Equally I feel happy knowing each of us has made the decision right for us. She is staying on Corn Island with people we have come to know well and are looking after her at the hostel until she an get her flights changed. She waved me off at the dock right up until the boat left, risking sunburn and heat rash! I am so grateful for having had her with me on this trip. Now I'm on my own I am learning to be flexible with my plans, striking up conversations and safety nets with people. I have found a couple, Emma and Alex to travel from the airport to a hostel with. So now begins a new adventure. Part of me is terrified, but for now this feels like the right decision. We will see how I go!

Imogen